Hey all,
It's been ages since I posted here, but this update is worth it! I am proud to present my newest broweser game: Board Game Online!
http://www.boardgame-online.com
It's incredibly easy to start a game and invite people to your game. It's full of wacky events and items. Confusing at first, but always hilarious! Give it a shot!
Features:
* Pirates
* Ninjas
* Time Bombs
* Lolrus
* Beer
* More...
Check it out!
Cheers,
Wowter!
Saturday 4 April 2009
Wednesday 28 November 2007
I, Sinterklaas.
For the first and maybe last time, a blog in dutch. Mainly because you silly foreigners wouldn't understand this kind of festive complexity anyway. Cheers!
---
Sinterklaas. De Goedheiligman. De enige persoon in ons land die we onvoorwaardelijk respecteren en nooit in twijfel trekken. Zowel kinderen als volwassenen hebben grote liefde voor de bebaarde weldoener met zijn vrolijke pieterbazen. Dit spreekt natuurlijk allemaal voor zich, aangezien de Sint nu eenmaal de incarnatie van goedheid is. En dat is een feit.
...right?
Midden in de nacht kwam het tot me als donderslag bij heldere hemel. Ik rolde uit mijn bed, schuifelde naar mijn computer, schoof de lege etensverpakkingen van mijn toetsenbord op de grond en knipperde tegen het felle licht van mijn scherm. Een paar simpele zoekopdrachten wezen al snel uit dat Sinterklaas geen officiëel strafblad heeft. Wat complexere acties later was het duidelijk dat de Sint ook geen medisch dossier bezit en niet ingeschreven staat bij een een huisarts. Ook bezit geen van zijn Pieten een medisch diploma. Eigenaardig dat de Sint nog betrekkelijk gezond is...
Gedreven door het gebrek aan bewijs, besloot ik verder te zoeken dan de gemiddelde speurneus. Wikipedia is voor watjes en zelfs Google is (nog) niet alwetend. Ik besloot alle netwerken in Nederland en Spanje na te gaan. Belastingaangiftes, brieven van dierenorganisaties, vertaalbureaus gespecialiseerd in oude geschriften... ik werd er gek van. De Sint werd bijna overal wel genoemd, maar kon nergens met verdachte praktijken in verband worden gebracht. Tot ik plotsklaps stuitte op informatie die de Sint in een volledig ander daglicht zou brengen... voor altijd!
Een rapport van beveiligingsmedewerker P. Terman leek op het eerste gezicht niks speciaals, maar met mijn expertise en gedrevenheid kijk je langs zulke schijnbaar onschuldige zaken. Blijkbaar is de Sint meermalen op Schiphol geweest om kindertjes die moesten wachten op vertraagde vliegtuigen (en natuurlijk alle andere), te verrassen met snoep- en speelgoed. Bij de beveiliging werd gevraagd of de kindervriend door de detectiepoort wilde gaan, welke afging vanwege zijn staf. Maar zelfs toen de goedheiligman zijn staf op de lopende band had laten leggen, bleef de detectiepoort toegang weigeren.
"Ach," sprak een Piet, "de Sint heeft soms zo'n trek in suikergoed, dat hij per ongeluk aan zijn staf knabbelt in zijn slaap."
Met deze opmerking mocht de Sint toch door de detectiepoort; een schijnbaar losstaand en onschuldig gebeurtenisje, was het niet voor het feit dat alles op zijn plaats begon te vallen in mijn hoofd. Schokkender had de werkelijkheid niet kunnen zijn...
De Sint, geboren in Klein-Azië, zou na zijn dood naar Bari in Italië zijn gebracht, een universiteitsstad met een voor die tijd grote kennis op het gebied van metallurgie en complexe machinerie. Hoewel de Sint daar nu te rusten hoort te liggen, rijdt hij toch weer jaarlijks over de daken. Niemand stelt hier vraagtekens bij, aangezien dit een 'wonder' is, dat we 'simpelweg hebben te aanvaarden'. Nee, ik kan veel aanvaarden, maar hier is iets niet pluis.
Na nader onderzoek bleek Bari destijds een Spaanse kolonie te zijn geweest. De Spanjaarden toonden grote interesse voor Sint Nicolaas, die zoveel krachten zou hebben. Next time we know heeft de Sint een paleis in Spanje. Verdacht? Ik dacht het wel. Mandarijnen, die ook destijds in grote getalen werden verbouwd in Spanje, sloegen niet bepaald aan in Noord-Europa. In die tijd werd er nog vaak aangenomen dat fruit slecht voor je was. De Spanjaarden hadden er klaarblijkelijk baat bij een respectabel figuur als de Sint naar Nederland, één van de prominentste handelslanden uit de geschiedenis van de mensheid, te sturen met mandarijnen en kruidnoten. Ook kruiden had Spanje in overvloed, wegens de goede contacten met Afrika, waar ook geregeld negerslaven van geïmporteerd werden.
If mandarins don't cause cancer, why are they cancer shaped?
Nu rest de vraag... hoe zou Spanje in staat zijn geweest de Sint te... reanimeren? Het antwoord is simpel, maar niet voor de hand liggend. In die zelfde eeuw vond nog een gebeurtenis plaats: de eerste theorie over het binaire stelsel, verzonnen in oostelijk Azië. Combineer dit met de metallurgische kennis van de wetenschappers uit Bari en de handelslust van de Spanjaarden en wat krijgen we?
Hoeveel Pieten had Sint voordat ze zich als een gek reproduceerden?
2^0 = 1
Het jaar erop?
2^1 = 2
Wanneer stierf de Sint? ZES December. Waarom vieren we het dan al op 5?
5 December
5-12
Wat zijn zwarte Pieten?
Negers.
Wat is 2 tot de negerde?
2^9 = 512
5-12
Vijf December.
WAAROM BLEVEN DE DETECTIEPOORTEN AFGAAN OP SCHIPHOL AIRPORT?
...
Ga even zitten en neem het in je op...
Sinterklaas... is een robot.
Erm, seriously... het is nu half 3... ik heb hier niks meer aan toe te voegen.
Cheers!
Wowter
---
Sinterklaas. De Goedheiligman. De enige persoon in ons land die we onvoorwaardelijk respecteren en nooit in twijfel trekken. Zowel kinderen als volwassenen hebben grote liefde voor de bebaarde weldoener met zijn vrolijke pieterbazen. Dit spreekt natuurlijk allemaal voor zich, aangezien de Sint nu eenmaal de incarnatie van goedheid is. En dat is een feit.
...right?
Midden in de nacht kwam het tot me als donderslag bij heldere hemel. Ik rolde uit mijn bed, schuifelde naar mijn computer, schoof de lege etensverpakkingen van mijn toetsenbord op de grond en knipperde tegen het felle licht van mijn scherm. Een paar simpele zoekopdrachten wezen al snel uit dat Sinterklaas geen officiëel strafblad heeft. Wat complexere acties later was het duidelijk dat de Sint ook geen medisch dossier bezit en niet ingeschreven staat bij een een huisarts. Ook bezit geen van zijn Pieten een medisch diploma. Eigenaardig dat de Sint nog betrekkelijk gezond is...
Gedreven door het gebrek aan bewijs, besloot ik verder te zoeken dan de gemiddelde speurneus. Wikipedia is voor watjes en zelfs Google is (nog) niet alwetend. Ik besloot alle netwerken in Nederland en Spanje na te gaan. Belastingaangiftes, brieven van dierenorganisaties, vertaalbureaus gespecialiseerd in oude geschriften... ik werd er gek van. De Sint werd bijna overal wel genoemd, maar kon nergens met verdachte praktijken in verband worden gebracht. Tot ik plotsklaps stuitte op informatie die de Sint in een volledig ander daglicht zou brengen... voor altijd!
Een rapport van beveiligingsmedewerker P. Terman leek op het eerste gezicht niks speciaals, maar met mijn expertise en gedrevenheid kijk je langs zulke schijnbaar onschuldige zaken. Blijkbaar is de Sint meermalen op Schiphol geweest om kindertjes die moesten wachten op vertraagde vliegtuigen (en natuurlijk alle andere), te verrassen met snoep- en speelgoed. Bij de beveiliging werd gevraagd of de kindervriend door de detectiepoort wilde gaan, welke afging vanwege zijn staf. Maar zelfs toen de goedheiligman zijn staf op de lopende band had laten leggen, bleef de detectiepoort toegang weigeren.
"Ach," sprak een Piet, "de Sint heeft soms zo'n trek in suikergoed, dat hij per ongeluk aan zijn staf knabbelt in zijn slaap."
Met deze opmerking mocht de Sint toch door de detectiepoort; een schijnbaar losstaand en onschuldig gebeurtenisje, was het niet voor het feit dat alles op zijn plaats begon te vallen in mijn hoofd. Schokkender had de werkelijkheid niet kunnen zijn...
De Sint, geboren in Klein-Azië, zou na zijn dood naar Bari in Italië zijn gebracht, een universiteitsstad met een voor die tijd grote kennis op het gebied van metallurgie en complexe machinerie. Hoewel de Sint daar nu te rusten hoort te liggen, rijdt hij toch weer jaarlijks over de daken. Niemand stelt hier vraagtekens bij, aangezien dit een 'wonder' is, dat we 'simpelweg hebben te aanvaarden'. Nee, ik kan veel aanvaarden, maar hier is iets niet pluis.
Na nader onderzoek bleek Bari destijds een Spaanse kolonie te zijn geweest. De Spanjaarden toonden grote interesse voor Sint Nicolaas, die zoveel krachten zou hebben. Next time we know heeft de Sint een paleis in Spanje. Verdacht? Ik dacht het wel. Mandarijnen, die ook destijds in grote getalen werden verbouwd in Spanje, sloegen niet bepaald aan in Noord-Europa. In die tijd werd er nog vaak aangenomen dat fruit slecht voor je was. De Spanjaarden hadden er klaarblijkelijk baat bij een respectabel figuur als de Sint naar Nederland, één van de prominentste handelslanden uit de geschiedenis van de mensheid, te sturen met mandarijnen en kruidnoten. Ook kruiden had Spanje in overvloed, wegens de goede contacten met Afrika, waar ook geregeld negerslaven van geïmporteerd werden.
Nu rest de vraag... hoe zou Spanje in staat zijn geweest de Sint te... reanimeren? Het antwoord is simpel, maar niet voor de hand liggend. In die zelfde eeuw vond nog een gebeurtenis plaats: de eerste theorie over het binaire stelsel, verzonnen in oostelijk Azië. Combineer dit met de metallurgische kennis van de wetenschappers uit Bari en de handelslust van de Spanjaarden en wat krijgen we?
Hoeveel Pieten had Sint voordat ze zich als een gek reproduceerden?
2^0 = 1
Het jaar erop?
2^1 = 2
Wanneer stierf de Sint? ZES December. Waarom vieren we het dan al op 5?
5 December
5-12
Wat zijn zwarte Pieten?
Negers.
Wat is 2 tot de negerde?
2^9 = 512
5-12
Vijf December.
WAAROM BLEVEN DE DETECTIEPOORTEN AFGAAN OP SCHIPHOL AIRPORT?
...
Ga even zitten en neem het in je op...
Sinterklaas... is een robot.
Erm, seriously... het is nu half 3... ik heb hier niks meer aan toe te voegen.
Cheers!
Wowter
Tuesday 18 September 2007
Yeah yeah, the poll!
Alright, alright. I lead a busy life, you know? But sure, poke me if you wish!
Cough. Anyway. The results of the poll weren't amazing as of yet, as was to be expected, since my blog is a bit less active than it should be. I'll try to free some time in my busy, nerdy life, but I can't promise much.
Anyways, turns out invisibility is the most popular super-power. Filthy perverts!
Now, off to create a new poll.
Cough. Anyway. The results of the poll weren't amazing as of yet, as was to be expected, since my blog is a bit less active than it should be. I'll try to free some time in my busy, nerdy life, but I can't promise much.
Anyways, turns out invisibility is the most popular super-power. Filthy perverts!
Now, off to create a new poll.
Wednesday 12 September 2007
Wouter's World
"I can't take any more! You're too big for me!" I yelled in pain, fearing my ass wouldn't hold.
"Don't whine, bitch! It's been days since the last time! You want it!"
"I do, I do!" I cried and enjoyed the kinky sensation that was a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Oh my God!"
"YES! YES! I am coming!" he yelled.
*SPLATCH*
---
Anyway, enough about my toilet sessions. Today I wanted to discu... what? You think I'm crazy? How come people keep saying that? In the last 3 days, about 25 different people have called me insane, mad, deranged or something in that general direction! It's not like I can help it... it's genetic!
You see... as a child I was quite autistic, with terrible results varying from trees running into me to imaginary nightmares at night. My parents did everything they could to help me, including the clown technique.
SMBC Comics rule!
Unfortunately the famous clown psychology turned out to have negative effects on me. I started to alienate from the real world and made myself at home in my own fantasy world. I had imaginary friends, some of whom had imaginary friends of themselves. They were crazy, I tell you! I didn't know the difference between the real world and Wouter's World anymore...
My grades at school were terrible and my teachers thought I was pretty stupid. This lasted until I was confronted with my bad results by my parents and teachers. They told me to do my best more, to stay focused. Needless to say this didn't help at all. By accident my parents found the solution weeks later.
"Wouter, school is a game and you need to win."
Madness twinkled in my eyes. 'A game... need to win...'
Now that school was suddenly interesting, I topped scores ever since. However, at university I lost my interest for learning and returned to my own world, which was a lot more entertaining than this piece of crap. I dropped out of school, got depressed, crazy and near suicidal!
Weeks went by that I didn't leave my room. Clinging to World of Warcraft and my own imagination, there was little stimulus to do anything else. I was perfectly happy with this, but my friends and family had gotten worried, very worried. Rightly so, I suppose, but I was greatly annoyed by this. I couldn't knowingly lead this absurd life if it caused my loved ones to feel worried about me.
Still, months went by and salvation was never at hand. Until one night, one blessed night. I slept in what was once my bed, but where now nothing but sweaty, stinky piles of cloth remained. I looked around the room and realised it was actually night; I didn't often sleep at night with my lack of regulation.
I cackled insanely and mumbled death threats at my pillow, while humming Ren & Stimpy songs. My mind was full of problems... 'I should quit WoW, it's destroying my life.', 'I need to get a job.', 'People think I'm crazy. Dude... I am crazy!'
I felt myself going insane and rolled out of my bed, enjoying the sensation of the filthy cold floor to my half-naked body. Completely deranged, I climbed to my feet again and walked to the mirror over my sink. I switched on the light to look at myself, the crazy nutter I was.
In the mirror, to my surprise, was not my own face. It was the face of an old, magnificent man with a long, grey beard. He smiled at me calmly. I returned the smile.
"Why am I crazy, God? Why did you make me the madman I am? I can't think normally. I... I can't bring order to my own mind! I can't fight it anymore! Chaos consumes me!"
He smiled calmly and shook his head.
"No, son. You just don't realise your power yet. You are one. You are an individual. Your thoughts are your own and no one can truly judge them. You can choose to accept anything in the world: pain, chaos, fate. None of these words matter more than you make them matter. You are in control. You decide what's right or wrong. You decide what you want to do."
I stared at him in amazement, but not for long. I blacked out and woke up on the floor the next morning. A huge lump on the back of my head ached; a souvenir to my conversation with God himself. The bastard had used my temporary absent-mindedness to have an angel hit me in the head with an angelic hammer.
I stumbled to the window and blinkingly stared into the sun. Suddenly it all made sense... It was that day that I found the solution. All my life I had been looking for a cure, but instead it turned out I wasn't sick in the first place! I am just me! Crazy! This IS Wouter's World! It's not imaginary at all! Well, maybe the evil green chickens and monkey knights were... No! Not even them! Your fantasy is as real as anything else in this world!
CRAZY!
That's me. Nerdy!
Enlightenment feels great, my friends. Once you've felt it, you are one. I can not truly describe it, but it's complete freedom. There's just one thing you all have to realise.
You are who you are.
You can make your own decisions.
Do what feels right, what feels good.
Be true to yourself!
---
Yes, I may be a maniacal lunatic, but that's my life's choice and I thrive by it. Who are you, dear reader? Are there parts of yourself you hide from the world? Open up and show people who you are! Show them you are happy with yourself and they will accept you the way you are. Trust me.
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. God is just a metaphor for Allah. Praise Allah, my muslim friends! Let us all not suicide bomb Wouter, eh?
"Don't whine, bitch! It's been days since the last time! You want it!"
"I do, I do!" I cried and enjoyed the kinky sensation that was a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Oh my God!"
"YES! YES! I am coming!" he yelled.
*SPLATCH*
---
Anyway, enough about my toilet sessions. Today I wanted to discu... what? You think I'm crazy? How come people keep saying that? In the last 3 days, about 25 different people have called me insane, mad, deranged or something in that general direction! It's not like I can help it... it's genetic!
You see... as a child I was quite autistic, with terrible results varying from trees running into me to imaginary nightmares at night. My parents did everything they could to help me, including the clown technique.
SMBC Comics rule!
Unfortunately the famous clown psychology turned out to have negative effects on me. I started to alienate from the real world and made myself at home in my own fantasy world. I had imaginary friends, some of whom had imaginary friends of themselves. They were crazy, I tell you! I didn't know the difference between the real world and Wouter's World anymore...
My grades at school were terrible and my teachers thought I was pretty stupid. This lasted until I was confronted with my bad results by my parents and teachers. They told me to do my best more, to stay focused. Needless to say this didn't help at all. By accident my parents found the solution weeks later.
"Wouter, school is a game and you need to win."
Madness twinkled in my eyes. 'A game... need to win...'
Now that school was suddenly interesting, I topped scores ever since. However, at university I lost my interest for learning and returned to my own world, which was a lot more entertaining than this piece of crap. I dropped out of school, got depressed, crazy and near suicidal!
Weeks went by that I didn't leave my room. Clinging to World of Warcraft and my own imagination, there was little stimulus to do anything else. I was perfectly happy with this, but my friends and family had gotten worried, very worried. Rightly so, I suppose, but I was greatly annoyed by this. I couldn't knowingly lead this absurd life if it caused my loved ones to feel worried about me.
Still, months went by and salvation was never at hand. Until one night, one blessed night. I slept in what was once my bed, but where now nothing but sweaty, stinky piles of cloth remained. I looked around the room and realised it was actually night; I didn't often sleep at night with my lack of regulation.
I cackled insanely and mumbled death threats at my pillow, while humming Ren & Stimpy songs. My mind was full of problems... 'I should quit WoW, it's destroying my life.', 'I need to get a job.', 'People think I'm crazy. Dude... I am crazy!'
I felt myself going insane and rolled out of my bed, enjoying the sensation of the filthy cold floor to my half-naked body. Completely deranged, I climbed to my feet again and walked to the mirror over my sink. I switched on the light to look at myself, the crazy nutter I was.
In the mirror, to my surprise, was not my own face. It was the face of an old, magnificent man with a long, grey beard. He smiled at me calmly. I returned the smile.
"Why am I crazy, God? Why did you make me the madman I am? I can't think normally. I... I can't bring order to my own mind! I can't fight it anymore! Chaos consumes me!"
He smiled calmly and shook his head.
"No, son. You just don't realise your power yet. You are one. You are an individual. Your thoughts are your own and no one can truly judge them. You can choose to accept anything in the world: pain, chaos, fate. None of these words matter more than you make them matter. You are in control. You decide what's right or wrong. You decide what you want to do."
I stared at him in amazement, but not for long. I blacked out and woke up on the floor the next morning. A huge lump on the back of my head ached; a souvenir to my conversation with God himself. The bastard had used my temporary absent-mindedness to have an angel hit me in the head with an angelic hammer.
I stumbled to the window and blinkingly stared into the sun. Suddenly it all made sense... It was that day that I found the solution. All my life I had been looking for a cure, but instead it turned out I wasn't sick in the first place! I am just me! Crazy! This IS Wouter's World! It's not imaginary at all! Well, maybe the evil green chickens and monkey knights were... No! Not even them! Your fantasy is as real as anything else in this world!
CRAZY!
Enlightenment feels great, my friends. Once you've felt it, you are one. I can not truly describe it, but it's complete freedom. There's just one thing you all have to realise.
You are who you are.
You can make your own decisions.
Do what feels right, what feels good.
Be true to yourself!
---
Yes, I may be a maniacal lunatic, but that's my life's choice and I thrive by it. Who are you, dear reader? Are there parts of yourself you hide from the world? Open up and show people who you are! Show them you are happy with yourself and they will accept you the way you are. Trust me.
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. God is just a metaphor for Allah. Praise Allah, my muslim friends! Let us all not suicide bomb Wouter, eh?
Monday 10 September 2007
Our busy, modern world. - No time for monkey business?
My dearest, most loyal readers,
After thoughtful consideration I have decided to up the number of recurring formats that are seen in Wouter's World. Thus far we have only encountered Woutube and NeWWs Flash, which are of course bound to stay. (Wuzzah!)
Here is the list of new formats you will regularly see appear in this blog:
* Kick Rick! - 101 Ways to torture my good friend.
* Drugs are bad, mm'kay? - Blogs written completely under influence!
There are bound to come more formats later on, but those concepts aren't finished yet. Should you come up with a crazy idea, let me know! You know you can contact me at woutersworld@gmail.com!
Now, back to today's blog!
---
Depression's dark hand has our world in his strong grip once again! I have been warning people for the Age of Emo for a long time now, but no one believed me. Still, even the unbelievers have to face the facts! The number of suicides is increasing rapidly each year, especially in Europe, the U.S.A. and Japan the increase is exceptionally noticable. This goes hand in hand with an even bigger increase of depressions.
Yes, we're mainly talking about depressions under the western youth now. Why is this happening, you ask? I could of course study the phenomenon for years and conclude that it's due to our society that is getting more and more complex, which causes people to flee into alternate realities and eventually, seek death. However, that would be a far too serious approach for Wouter's World.
No Sir, where there's a solution, there's a problem! Or wait...
Anyway... I decided to come up with a cure for this western luxury disease. After thoughtful concideration and mutliple experiments in my lab I had to conclude that, though there are many keys that fit our black emotional door, the best way to solve this massive depression is entertainment. And whaddayathink? Let that just be my specialisation!
Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby propose to you my prize-winning answer to society's tears!
MONKEYS!
Yup, it's nature's clown alright! Honestly, who does not enjoy a good laugh while observing our silly relatives? I myself have dreamt of my own butler monkeys for years now! Awww, I can dream, can't I?
Monkeys are already being used for many useful purposes. The best example is of course the Trunk Monkey, invention of Suburban Auto Group. This revolutionary system uutilises their incredible powers to adapt to almost any situation. My advise? If you feel insecure in your car in our modern, dangerous world, take a TM(tm) with you and you'll feel a lot brighter!
Trunk Monkeys are awesome!
You know what is even more fascinating? The fact that it doesn't really matter what it is a monkey does. We always find it hilarious somehow. Observe the next picture I took in Asia last year. This monkey has just caught himself a cat and is about to eat it. Still people were pointing and laughing. But then again, they eat cats there as well, don't they? Anywho...
And then just the way they look! Though I find these Nose Apes kinda intimidating seen their size, their nose is hilarious by nature. I coudn't help but laugh at their big-nosed leader!
Of course there's also their incredible wit! You just have to laugh when you see this guy! (Ignore the wannabe-funny presentator.)
And for the die-hards, some more monkey videos!
Oh, and even a classic!
Whoopsie, almost forgot the time watching comparisons of Bush with monkeys. Yes, surprisingly there are lots of those...
Anyway, my plan is to create huge monkey concentration camps where they will be forced to reproduce, while their offspring will receive training in the ways of human humor! Soon we shall have enough monkeys for everyone and depression shall reign our rich ass world no longer!
Honestly, people! Laugh some more! Life is a game, a play, a laugh! Make the best of it! Feeling down and confused? Can't handle the pressure anymore? Slap yourself in the face and smile! Monkeys rule!
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. Monkeys are only relatives of non-muslims. Allah created the proud muslim people afterwards or something... errrr... anyway, praise Allah!
After thoughtful consideration I have decided to up the number of recurring formats that are seen in Wouter's World. Thus far we have only encountered Woutube and NeWWs Flash, which are of course bound to stay. (Wuzzah!)
Here is the list of new formats you will regularly see appear in this blog:
* Kick Rick! - 101 Ways to torture my good friend.
* Drugs are bad, mm'kay? - Blogs written completely under influence!
There are bound to come more formats later on, but those concepts aren't finished yet. Should you come up with a crazy idea, let me know! You know you can contact me at woutersworld@gmail.com!
Now, back to today's blog!
---
Depression's dark hand has our world in his strong grip once again! I have been warning people for the Age of Emo for a long time now, but no one believed me. Still, even the unbelievers have to face the facts! The number of suicides is increasing rapidly each year, especially in Europe, the U.S.A. and Japan the increase is exceptionally noticable. This goes hand in hand with an even bigger increase of depressions.
Yes, we're mainly talking about depressions under the western youth now. Why is this happening, you ask? I could of course study the phenomenon for years and conclude that it's due to our society that is getting more and more complex, which causes people to flee into alternate realities and eventually, seek death. However, that would be a far too serious approach for Wouter's World.
No Sir, where there's a solution, there's a problem! Or wait...
Anyway... I decided to come up with a cure for this western luxury disease. After thoughtful concideration and mutliple experiments in my lab I had to conclude that, though there are many keys that fit our black emotional door, the best way to solve this massive depression is entertainment. And whaddayathink? Let that just be my specialisation!
Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby propose to you my prize-winning answer to society's tears!
MONKEYS!
Yup, it's nature's clown alright! Honestly, who does not enjoy a good laugh while observing our silly relatives? I myself have dreamt of my own butler monkeys for years now! Awww, I can dream, can't I?
Monkeys are already being used for many useful purposes. The best example is of course the Trunk Monkey, invention of Suburban Auto Group. This revolutionary system uutilises their incredible powers to adapt to almost any situation. My advise? If you feel insecure in your car in our modern, dangerous world, take a TM(tm) with you and you'll feel a lot brighter!
Trunk Monkeys are awesome!
You know what is even more fascinating? The fact that it doesn't really matter what it is a monkey does. We always find it hilarious somehow. Observe the next picture I took in Asia last year. This monkey has just caught himself a cat and is about to eat it. Still people were pointing and laughing. But then again, they eat cats there as well, don't they? Anywho...
And then just the way they look! Though I find these Nose Apes kinda intimidating seen their size, their nose is hilarious by nature. I coudn't help but laugh at their big-nosed leader!
Of course there's also their incredible wit! You just have to laugh when you see this guy! (Ignore the wannabe-funny presentator.)
And for the die-hards, some more monkey videos!
Oh, and even a classic!
Whoopsie, almost forgot the time watching comparisons of Bush with monkeys. Yes, surprisingly there are lots of those...
Anyway, my plan is to create huge monkey concentration camps where they will be forced to reproduce, while their offspring will receive training in the ways of human humor! Soon we shall have enough monkeys for everyone and depression shall reign our rich ass world no longer!
Honestly, people! Laugh some more! Life is a game, a play, a laugh! Make the best of it! Feeling down and confused? Can't handle the pressure anymore? Slap yourself in the face and smile! Monkeys rule!
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. Monkeys are only relatives of non-muslims. Allah created the proud muslim people afterwards or something... errrr... anyway, praise Allah!
Sunday 9 September 2007
New: weekly poll
From now on Wouter's World will feature a weekly poll. Every Sunday evening a new poll will be launched on which you can vote for 7 days. Each sunday the results of the poll will be discussed here.
Use your democratic powers!
Cheers,
Wowter
Use your democratic powers!
Cheers,
Wowter
Wouter's World - End of the holiday break!
Yes, it is true! Today someone reminded me of my blog, which I had indeed planned to bring back up one of these days, but had utterly forgotten all about due to my new study. Luckily, now that things have settled a bit, I will have a free hour or two per day to spend on my blog o' rubbish!
Due to me being more active than ever before irl, I have to tune down the update rate though. I aim for an article or event every other day, so stay tuned! Wouter's World will update on mon-wed-fri-sun. This will hopefully result in a sustained quality. (Well, we can hope, can't we?)
Anyway, I'd like to express my thanks to my sexy collegue who reminded me of my long-forgotten blog. (Hope your date went well, btw ;))
Sleep well, dream of tomorrow's blog and praise Allah!
Cheers,
Wowter
Due to me being more active than ever before irl, I have to tune down the update rate though. I aim for an article or event every other day, so stay tuned! Wouter's World will update on mon-wed-fri-sun. This will hopefully result in a sustained quality. (Well, we can hope, can't we?)
Anyway, I'd like to express my thanks to my sexy collegue who reminded me of my long-forgotten blog. (Hope your date went well, btw ;))
Sleep well, dream of tomorrow's blog and praise Allah!
Cheers,
Wowter
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