Alright, alright. I lead a busy life, you know? But sure, poke me if you wish!
Cough. Anyway. The results of the poll weren't amazing as of yet, as was to be expected, since my blog is a bit less active than it should be. I'll try to free some time in my busy, nerdy life, but I can't promise much.
Anyways, turns out invisibility is the most popular super-power. Filthy perverts!
Now, off to create a new poll.
Tuesday 18 September 2007
Wednesday 12 September 2007
Wouter's World
"I can't take any more! You're too big for me!" I yelled in pain, fearing my ass wouldn't hold.
"Don't whine, bitch! It's been days since the last time! You want it!"
"I do, I do!" I cried and enjoyed the kinky sensation that was a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Oh my God!"
"YES! YES! I am coming!" he yelled.
*SPLATCH*
---
Anyway, enough about my toilet sessions. Today I wanted to discu... what? You think I'm crazy? How come people keep saying that? In the last 3 days, about 25 different people have called me insane, mad, deranged or something in that general direction! It's not like I can help it... it's genetic!
You see... as a child I was quite autistic, with terrible results varying from trees running into me to imaginary nightmares at night. My parents did everything they could to help me, including the clown technique.
SMBC Comics rule!
Unfortunately the famous clown psychology turned out to have negative effects on me. I started to alienate from the real world and made myself at home in my own fantasy world. I had imaginary friends, some of whom had imaginary friends of themselves. They were crazy, I tell you! I didn't know the difference between the real world and Wouter's World anymore...
My grades at school were terrible and my teachers thought I was pretty stupid. This lasted until I was confronted with my bad results by my parents and teachers. They told me to do my best more, to stay focused. Needless to say this didn't help at all. By accident my parents found the solution weeks later.
"Wouter, school is a game and you need to win."
Madness twinkled in my eyes. 'A game... need to win...'
Now that school was suddenly interesting, I topped scores ever since. However, at university I lost my interest for learning and returned to my own world, which was a lot more entertaining than this piece of crap. I dropped out of school, got depressed, crazy and near suicidal!
Weeks went by that I didn't leave my room. Clinging to World of Warcraft and my own imagination, there was little stimulus to do anything else. I was perfectly happy with this, but my friends and family had gotten worried, very worried. Rightly so, I suppose, but I was greatly annoyed by this. I couldn't knowingly lead this absurd life if it caused my loved ones to feel worried about me.
Still, months went by and salvation was never at hand. Until one night, one blessed night. I slept in what was once my bed, but where now nothing but sweaty, stinky piles of cloth remained. I looked around the room and realised it was actually night; I didn't often sleep at night with my lack of regulation.
I cackled insanely and mumbled death threats at my pillow, while humming Ren & Stimpy songs. My mind was full of problems... 'I should quit WoW, it's destroying my life.', 'I need to get a job.', 'People think I'm crazy. Dude... I am crazy!'
I felt myself going insane and rolled out of my bed, enjoying the sensation of the filthy cold floor to my half-naked body. Completely deranged, I climbed to my feet again and walked to the mirror over my sink. I switched on the light to look at myself, the crazy nutter I was.
In the mirror, to my surprise, was not my own face. It was the face of an old, magnificent man with a long, grey beard. He smiled at me calmly. I returned the smile.
"Why am I crazy, God? Why did you make me the madman I am? I can't think normally. I... I can't bring order to my own mind! I can't fight it anymore! Chaos consumes me!"
He smiled calmly and shook his head.
"No, son. You just don't realise your power yet. You are one. You are an individual. Your thoughts are your own and no one can truly judge them. You can choose to accept anything in the world: pain, chaos, fate. None of these words matter more than you make them matter. You are in control. You decide what's right or wrong. You decide what you want to do."
I stared at him in amazement, but not for long. I blacked out and woke up on the floor the next morning. A huge lump on the back of my head ached; a souvenir to my conversation with God himself. The bastard had used my temporary absent-mindedness to have an angel hit me in the head with an angelic hammer.
I stumbled to the window and blinkingly stared into the sun. Suddenly it all made sense... It was that day that I found the solution. All my life I had been looking for a cure, but instead it turned out I wasn't sick in the first place! I am just me! Crazy! This IS Wouter's World! It's not imaginary at all! Well, maybe the evil green chickens and monkey knights were... No! Not even them! Your fantasy is as real as anything else in this world!
CRAZY!
That's me. Nerdy!
Enlightenment feels great, my friends. Once you've felt it, you are one. I can not truly describe it, but it's complete freedom. There's just one thing you all have to realise.
You are who you are.
You can make your own decisions.
Do what feels right, what feels good.
Be true to yourself!
---
Yes, I may be a maniacal lunatic, but that's my life's choice and I thrive by it. Who are you, dear reader? Are there parts of yourself you hide from the world? Open up and show people who you are! Show them you are happy with yourself and they will accept you the way you are. Trust me.
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. God is just a metaphor for Allah. Praise Allah, my muslim friends! Let us all not suicide bomb Wouter, eh?
"Don't whine, bitch! It's been days since the last time! You want it!"
"I do, I do!" I cried and enjoyed the kinky sensation that was a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Oh my God!"
"YES! YES! I am coming!" he yelled.
*SPLATCH*
---
Anyway, enough about my toilet sessions. Today I wanted to discu... what? You think I'm crazy? How come people keep saying that? In the last 3 days, about 25 different people have called me insane, mad, deranged or something in that general direction! It's not like I can help it... it's genetic!
You see... as a child I was quite autistic, with terrible results varying from trees running into me to imaginary nightmares at night. My parents did everything they could to help me, including the clown technique.
SMBC Comics rule!
Unfortunately the famous clown psychology turned out to have negative effects on me. I started to alienate from the real world and made myself at home in my own fantasy world. I had imaginary friends, some of whom had imaginary friends of themselves. They were crazy, I tell you! I didn't know the difference between the real world and Wouter's World anymore...
My grades at school were terrible and my teachers thought I was pretty stupid. This lasted until I was confronted with my bad results by my parents and teachers. They told me to do my best more, to stay focused. Needless to say this didn't help at all. By accident my parents found the solution weeks later.
"Wouter, school is a game and you need to win."
Madness twinkled in my eyes. 'A game... need to win...'
Now that school was suddenly interesting, I topped scores ever since. However, at university I lost my interest for learning and returned to my own world, which was a lot more entertaining than this piece of crap. I dropped out of school, got depressed, crazy and near suicidal!
Weeks went by that I didn't leave my room. Clinging to World of Warcraft and my own imagination, there was little stimulus to do anything else. I was perfectly happy with this, but my friends and family had gotten worried, very worried. Rightly so, I suppose, but I was greatly annoyed by this. I couldn't knowingly lead this absurd life if it caused my loved ones to feel worried about me.
Still, months went by and salvation was never at hand. Until one night, one blessed night. I slept in what was once my bed, but where now nothing but sweaty, stinky piles of cloth remained. I looked around the room and realised it was actually night; I didn't often sleep at night with my lack of regulation.
I cackled insanely and mumbled death threats at my pillow, while humming Ren & Stimpy songs. My mind was full of problems... 'I should quit WoW, it's destroying my life.', 'I need to get a job.', 'People think I'm crazy. Dude... I am crazy!'
I felt myself going insane and rolled out of my bed, enjoying the sensation of the filthy cold floor to my half-naked body. Completely deranged, I climbed to my feet again and walked to the mirror over my sink. I switched on the light to look at myself, the crazy nutter I was.
In the mirror, to my surprise, was not my own face. It was the face of an old, magnificent man with a long, grey beard. He smiled at me calmly. I returned the smile.
"Why am I crazy, God? Why did you make me the madman I am? I can't think normally. I... I can't bring order to my own mind! I can't fight it anymore! Chaos consumes me!"
He smiled calmly and shook his head.
"No, son. You just don't realise your power yet. You are one. You are an individual. Your thoughts are your own and no one can truly judge them. You can choose to accept anything in the world: pain, chaos, fate. None of these words matter more than you make them matter. You are in control. You decide what's right or wrong. You decide what you want to do."
I stared at him in amazement, but not for long. I blacked out and woke up on the floor the next morning. A huge lump on the back of my head ached; a souvenir to my conversation with God himself. The bastard had used my temporary absent-mindedness to have an angel hit me in the head with an angelic hammer.
I stumbled to the window and blinkingly stared into the sun. Suddenly it all made sense... It was that day that I found the solution. All my life I had been looking for a cure, but instead it turned out I wasn't sick in the first place! I am just me! Crazy! This IS Wouter's World! It's not imaginary at all! Well, maybe the evil green chickens and monkey knights were... No! Not even them! Your fantasy is as real as anything else in this world!
CRAZY!
Enlightenment feels great, my friends. Once you've felt it, you are one. I can not truly describe it, but it's complete freedom. There's just one thing you all have to realise.
You are who you are.
You can make your own decisions.
Do what feels right, what feels good.
Be true to yourself!
---
Yes, I may be a maniacal lunatic, but that's my life's choice and I thrive by it. Who are you, dear reader? Are there parts of yourself you hide from the world? Open up and show people who you are! Show them you are happy with yourself and they will accept you the way you are. Trust me.
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. God is just a metaphor for Allah. Praise Allah, my muslim friends! Let us all not suicide bomb Wouter, eh?
Monday 10 September 2007
Our busy, modern world. - No time for monkey business?
My dearest, most loyal readers,
After thoughtful consideration I have decided to up the number of recurring formats that are seen in Wouter's World. Thus far we have only encountered Woutube and NeWWs Flash, which are of course bound to stay. (Wuzzah!)
Here is the list of new formats you will regularly see appear in this blog:
* Kick Rick! - 101 Ways to torture my good friend.
* Drugs are bad, mm'kay? - Blogs written completely under influence!
There are bound to come more formats later on, but those concepts aren't finished yet. Should you come up with a crazy idea, let me know! You know you can contact me at woutersworld@gmail.com!
Now, back to today's blog!
---
Depression's dark hand has our world in his strong grip once again! I have been warning people for the Age of Emo for a long time now, but no one believed me. Still, even the unbelievers have to face the facts! The number of suicides is increasing rapidly each year, especially in Europe, the U.S.A. and Japan the increase is exceptionally noticable. This goes hand in hand with an even bigger increase of depressions.
Yes, we're mainly talking about depressions under the western youth now. Why is this happening, you ask? I could of course study the phenomenon for years and conclude that it's due to our society that is getting more and more complex, which causes people to flee into alternate realities and eventually, seek death. However, that would be a far too serious approach for Wouter's World.
No Sir, where there's a solution, there's a problem! Or wait...
Anyway... I decided to come up with a cure for this western luxury disease. After thoughtful concideration and mutliple experiments in my lab I had to conclude that, though there are many keys that fit our black emotional door, the best way to solve this massive depression is entertainment. And whaddayathink? Let that just be my specialisation!
Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby propose to you my prize-winning answer to society's tears!
MONKEYS!
Yup, it's nature's clown alright! Honestly, who does not enjoy a good laugh while observing our silly relatives? I myself have dreamt of my own butler monkeys for years now! Awww, I can dream, can't I?
Monkeys are already being used for many useful purposes. The best example is of course the Trunk Monkey, invention of Suburban Auto Group. This revolutionary system uutilises their incredible powers to adapt to almost any situation. My advise? If you feel insecure in your car in our modern, dangerous world, take a TM(tm) with you and you'll feel a lot brighter!
Trunk Monkeys are awesome!
You know what is even more fascinating? The fact that it doesn't really matter what it is a monkey does. We always find it hilarious somehow. Observe the next picture I took in Asia last year. This monkey has just caught himself a cat and is about to eat it. Still people were pointing and laughing. But then again, they eat cats there as well, don't they? Anywho...
And then just the way they look! Though I find these Nose Apes kinda intimidating seen their size, their nose is hilarious by nature. I coudn't help but laugh at their big-nosed leader!
Of course there's also their incredible wit! You just have to laugh when you see this guy! (Ignore the wannabe-funny presentator.)
And for the die-hards, some more monkey videos!
Oh, and even a classic!
Whoopsie, almost forgot the time watching comparisons of Bush with monkeys. Yes, surprisingly there are lots of those...
Anyway, my plan is to create huge monkey concentration camps where they will be forced to reproduce, while their offspring will receive training in the ways of human humor! Soon we shall have enough monkeys for everyone and depression shall reign our rich ass world no longer!
Honestly, people! Laugh some more! Life is a game, a play, a laugh! Make the best of it! Feeling down and confused? Can't handle the pressure anymore? Slap yourself in the face and smile! Monkeys rule!
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. Monkeys are only relatives of non-muslims. Allah created the proud muslim people afterwards or something... errrr... anyway, praise Allah!
After thoughtful consideration I have decided to up the number of recurring formats that are seen in Wouter's World. Thus far we have only encountered Woutube and NeWWs Flash, which are of course bound to stay. (Wuzzah!)
Here is the list of new formats you will regularly see appear in this blog:
* Kick Rick! - 101 Ways to torture my good friend.
* Drugs are bad, mm'kay? - Blogs written completely under influence!
There are bound to come more formats later on, but those concepts aren't finished yet. Should you come up with a crazy idea, let me know! You know you can contact me at woutersworld@gmail.com!
Now, back to today's blog!
---
Depression's dark hand has our world in his strong grip once again! I have been warning people for the Age of Emo for a long time now, but no one believed me. Still, even the unbelievers have to face the facts! The number of suicides is increasing rapidly each year, especially in Europe, the U.S.A. and Japan the increase is exceptionally noticable. This goes hand in hand with an even bigger increase of depressions.
Yes, we're mainly talking about depressions under the western youth now. Why is this happening, you ask? I could of course study the phenomenon for years and conclude that it's due to our society that is getting more and more complex, which causes people to flee into alternate realities and eventually, seek death. However, that would be a far too serious approach for Wouter's World.
No Sir, where there's a solution, there's a problem! Or wait...
Anyway... I decided to come up with a cure for this western luxury disease. After thoughtful concideration and mutliple experiments in my lab I had to conclude that, though there are many keys that fit our black emotional door, the best way to solve this massive depression is entertainment. And whaddayathink? Let that just be my specialisation!
Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby propose to you my prize-winning answer to society's tears!
MONKEYS!
Yup, it's nature's clown alright! Honestly, who does not enjoy a good laugh while observing our silly relatives? I myself have dreamt of my own butler monkeys for years now! Awww, I can dream, can't I?
Monkeys are already being used for many useful purposes. The best example is of course the Trunk Monkey, invention of Suburban Auto Group. This revolutionary system uutilises their incredible powers to adapt to almost any situation. My advise? If you feel insecure in your car in our modern, dangerous world, take a TM(tm) with you and you'll feel a lot brighter!
Trunk Monkeys are awesome!
You know what is even more fascinating? The fact that it doesn't really matter what it is a monkey does. We always find it hilarious somehow. Observe the next picture I took in Asia last year. This monkey has just caught himself a cat and is about to eat it. Still people were pointing and laughing. But then again, they eat cats there as well, don't they? Anywho...
And then just the way they look! Though I find these Nose Apes kinda intimidating seen their size, their nose is hilarious by nature. I coudn't help but laugh at their big-nosed leader!
Of course there's also their incredible wit! You just have to laugh when you see this guy! (Ignore the wannabe-funny presentator.)
And for the die-hards, some more monkey videos!
Oh, and even a classic!
Whoopsie, almost forgot the time watching comparisons of Bush with monkeys. Yes, surprisingly there are lots of those...
Anyway, my plan is to create huge monkey concentration camps where they will be forced to reproduce, while their offspring will receive training in the ways of human humor! Soon we shall have enough monkeys for everyone and depression shall reign our rich ass world no longer!
Honestly, people! Laugh some more! Life is a game, a play, a laugh! Make the best of it! Feeling down and confused? Can't handle the pressure anymore? Slap yourself in the face and smile! Monkeys rule!
Cheers,
Wowter
P.S. Monkeys are only relatives of non-muslims. Allah created the proud muslim people afterwards or something... errrr... anyway, praise Allah!
Sunday 9 September 2007
New: weekly poll
From now on Wouter's World will feature a weekly poll. Every Sunday evening a new poll will be launched on which you can vote for 7 days. Each sunday the results of the poll will be discussed here.
Use your democratic powers!
Cheers,
Wowter
Use your democratic powers!
Cheers,
Wowter
Wouter's World - End of the holiday break!
Yes, it is true! Today someone reminded me of my blog, which I had indeed planned to bring back up one of these days, but had utterly forgotten all about due to my new study. Luckily, now that things have settled a bit, I will have a free hour or two per day to spend on my blog o' rubbish!
Due to me being more active than ever before irl, I have to tune down the update rate though. I aim for an article or event every other day, so stay tuned! Wouter's World will update on mon-wed-fri-sun. This will hopefully result in a sustained quality. (Well, we can hope, can't we?)
Anyway, I'd like to express my thanks to my sexy collegue who reminded me of my long-forgotten blog. (Hope your date went well, btw ;))
Sleep well, dream of tomorrow's blog and praise Allah!
Cheers,
Wowter
Due to me being more active than ever before irl, I have to tune down the update rate though. I aim for an article or event every other day, so stay tuned! Wouter's World will update on mon-wed-fri-sun. This will hopefully result in a sustained quality. (Well, we can hope, can't we?)
Anyway, I'd like to express my thanks to my sexy collegue who reminded me of my long-forgotten blog. (Hope your date went well, btw ;))
Sleep well, dream of tomorrow's blog and praise Allah!
Cheers,
Wowter
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