I'm off to France for 3 weeks. When I get back, I will renew Wouter's World. This time, a 1000 times better! Fear and tremble mortals! And enjoy your holidays!
Cheers,
Wowter
Saturday 21 July 2007
Tuesday 17 July 2007
Prologue, chapter 1
Britain, 1666...
The tall man walked up the wooden stage and then watched the crowd in front of him. The view would have surprised any other, but not him. He seemed to be rather pleased as he inspected the mass of people. The audience whispered excitedly as they watched the tall man look around. Apparently, he would have some important stuff to say.
The man looked quite extraordinary. He had a grand, pointy moustache on his long, rimpled face. He wore a long hat and a beautiful brown 17th century suit. He was, however, no match for his audience. It was filled with the most unusual people you could imagine. Midgets, giants, witches, eastern sorcerors and black medicine men were just some of the people that gave the impression that this was not the most common of conventions.
The whispers had turned into loud chats and the tall man raised his hands. In seconds, the noise died away and everyone stared at him anxiously. He smiled mildly and coughed a few times before he commenced his speech.
"It pleases me greatly that you have all come here voluntarily. However, those of you who chose otherwise, have been brought here yesterday, unfortunately with use of the neccessary force."
Whispers had gone up for a second, but another arm gesture returned the crowd to silence once again.
"We can assure you no one has come to harm. However, we had to remove their powers by force, thus causing them some unpleasant feelings. You may be wondering where we stored their magic. We know like no other the power of such combined magic and were therefore forced to store it in our most enchanted chest. Behold..."
He now had the attention of every single person present before him. He stepped back a little and closed his eyes. He slowly started waving his hands above the wooden stage and smoke came out of nowhere. Suddenly his eyes opened, but they were completely white. His body shook as he muttered incantations. Runes appeared under his hands and started to glow intensely.
Then, after a loud sonic boom accompanied by lightning and more smoke, he fell down on the stage. The crowd gasped in amazement as the smoke slowly disappeared. On the stage now stood 5 grand wizards and 4 stunning sorceresses. In their midst stood a large, runed, wooden chest. Everyone seemed to feel it... this chest radiated immense power.
"The..." spoke the tall man again when he got back on his feet, "...the Council of Ten has used all her power to deny access to this chest's contents for the latest months. We have succeeded in doing so, for today our quest will be completed.
We allow the world to enter an era of peace and reason. This will be a new dawn for mankind. In a matter of time, we shall all be equals and thus war shall die out. We will finally be able to work towards a better future worldwide. Our sacrifice will make this possible. We are the martyrs of peace!"
When he spoke those last words most of the crowd erupted in cheers. Some seemed rather annoyed however, and did not speak. Still, no one seemed to deem it wise to contradict the magnificent speaker.
---
"...but you're talking about the Council of Ten, aunt Beth!"
"Of course I am. And do I seem to care? Begone, you annoying girl!" sneered the old, hunched witch as she scurried into her tent.
The entrance of the tent flew open again and in came a red-haired little girl in a brown dress. She must've been around 14 years old. She breathed heavily, yet did not seem surprised by the contents of the tent, which was full of most unusually gross substances and scrolls. The girl swallowed before she spoke again.
"You won't leave the terrain like this and even if you did, the Council would track you down in less time than it takes for a falling apple to hit the ground!"
The old woman quickly jumped forward and picked up a handful of dirt. She threw it into the air and as it fell back to the ground, a green shoot had come out of the ground. The red-haired girl watched in amazement as it grew to the roof of the tent. Apples formed at its branches. A red apple suddenly fell down and held still in mid-air.
"Magic. Do you think it is hard for me to stop an apple from hitting the ground? The Council is full of young idealists. William has lost his ways and his nine pupils make him believe the world is better off without magic. Rat poop, I say! Without magic, how will I survive my weekly excecution?"
"Aunt Beth," the girl pleaded "no one forces you to participate in witch hunts. After all, you are a witch. And honestly, you're scaring the townsfolk. You could easily live a quiet, normal life without excecutions. You are addicted to death."
"At my age you have to be addicted to something to survive. I chose death. Now quit your yabbering and get out of my tent before you step on a scroll." With a clap of her hands, the girl got launched out of the tent, which imploded seconds later with a cracking sound."
Then, with another series of cracking sounds the old witch re-appeared on the ground, surrounded by the Council of Ten. She stared around and then fixed her eyes on the tall man she referred to as William. She spit on the ground and within the blink of an eye she threw a deep purple bolt out of her right hand in his direction.
The black-haired wizard on his right quickly countered the spell with a light blue blast. William didn't move an inch, but smiled widely at the old witch.
"Beëlzebeth. I had not expected anything different from you. A talented witch like yourself finds it hard to let go, no doubt. However, your game will end here and now. You are next to hand in your powers and believe me, it'll be more pleasant for all of us if you hand it to us peacefully." he spoke, his smile still on his face.
Beëlzebeth gave William a nasty look, but he only seemed to enjoy it.
"Very well then. I hope you choke on my magic! May it choke you like cesspit fumes. Your idealistic views will never save the world, because you have donkey brains! You want my magic? Fine. ARRANTHE NEMA NEMA DUUS!"
On the ground lay a swollen up, scurvy dog. I seemed to be filled with cancer and swellings with dark green ooze dripping from its anus. It tried to roll over, but barfed over the dark-haired wizard's shoes.
"All my magic in one sick dog. Throw it in your chest, why don't you? Much good it'll do to you." Beëlzebeth spoke and kicked the dog in its swollen stomach.
The dark-haired wizard grabbed for something in his pocket as the dog barfed over his shoes again. The tall wizard named William restrained him. He waved his hands over the dog, which disappeared without sound.
"Pity." He spoke. "I'd have expected more from the great Beëlzebeth, oldest witch of the world. This magic is rather pitiful, but nonetheless it is good we have it stored. Check her."
Two sorceresses used magic globes around her and the blond one nodded to William. "She is nothing more but a filthy old woman now."
William's smile had not faded all this time.
"Good. We'll be on our way then. We have a world to improve. Oh, and Beth, try not to get yourself killed in the next witch hunt, will you?" he sneered.
Then, with cracking sounds the Council disappeared. Beëlzebeth muttered and swore and scurried off.
"A- Aunt Beth..." the girl stuttered, "Are you completely powerless now?"
"I'm out of magic if that's what you mean, but that doesn't mean I'm powerless. I'm going home to live the rest of my life in my shack. Go home to my sister; she'll be pleased to hear the next time I die, it'll be permanent."
---
This concludes part A of the prologue. There is more to come soon. Don't worry if this strikes you as too serious; the story will get wicked eventually. Heck, it'll even feature the most anti-climactic battles between good and evil ever.
Enjoy the reads,
Wowter
The tall man walked up the wooden stage and then watched the crowd in front of him. The view would have surprised any other, but not him. He seemed to be rather pleased as he inspected the mass of people. The audience whispered excitedly as they watched the tall man look around. Apparently, he would have some important stuff to say.
The man looked quite extraordinary. He had a grand, pointy moustache on his long, rimpled face. He wore a long hat and a beautiful brown 17th century suit. He was, however, no match for his audience. It was filled with the most unusual people you could imagine. Midgets, giants, witches, eastern sorcerors and black medicine men were just some of the people that gave the impression that this was not the most common of conventions.
The whispers had turned into loud chats and the tall man raised his hands. In seconds, the noise died away and everyone stared at him anxiously. He smiled mildly and coughed a few times before he commenced his speech.
"It pleases me greatly that you have all come here voluntarily. However, those of you who chose otherwise, have been brought here yesterday, unfortunately with use of the neccessary force."
Whispers had gone up for a second, but another arm gesture returned the crowd to silence once again.
"We can assure you no one has come to harm. However, we had to remove their powers by force, thus causing them some unpleasant feelings. You may be wondering where we stored their magic. We know like no other the power of such combined magic and were therefore forced to store it in our most enchanted chest. Behold..."
He now had the attention of every single person present before him. He stepped back a little and closed his eyes. He slowly started waving his hands above the wooden stage and smoke came out of nowhere. Suddenly his eyes opened, but they were completely white. His body shook as he muttered incantations. Runes appeared under his hands and started to glow intensely.
Then, after a loud sonic boom accompanied by lightning and more smoke, he fell down on the stage. The crowd gasped in amazement as the smoke slowly disappeared. On the stage now stood 5 grand wizards and 4 stunning sorceresses. In their midst stood a large, runed, wooden chest. Everyone seemed to feel it... this chest radiated immense power.
"The..." spoke the tall man again when he got back on his feet, "...the Council of Ten has used all her power to deny access to this chest's contents for the latest months. We have succeeded in doing so, for today our quest will be completed.
We allow the world to enter an era of peace and reason. This will be a new dawn for mankind. In a matter of time, we shall all be equals and thus war shall die out. We will finally be able to work towards a better future worldwide. Our sacrifice will make this possible. We are the martyrs of peace!"
When he spoke those last words most of the crowd erupted in cheers. Some seemed rather annoyed however, and did not speak. Still, no one seemed to deem it wise to contradict the magnificent speaker.
---
"...but you're talking about the Council of Ten, aunt Beth!"
"Of course I am. And do I seem to care? Begone, you annoying girl!" sneered the old, hunched witch as she scurried into her tent.
The entrance of the tent flew open again and in came a red-haired little girl in a brown dress. She must've been around 14 years old. She breathed heavily, yet did not seem surprised by the contents of the tent, which was full of most unusually gross substances and scrolls. The girl swallowed before she spoke again.
"You won't leave the terrain like this and even if you did, the Council would track you down in less time than it takes for a falling apple to hit the ground!"
The old woman quickly jumped forward and picked up a handful of dirt. She threw it into the air and as it fell back to the ground, a green shoot had come out of the ground. The red-haired girl watched in amazement as it grew to the roof of the tent. Apples formed at its branches. A red apple suddenly fell down and held still in mid-air.
"Magic. Do you think it is hard for me to stop an apple from hitting the ground? The Council is full of young idealists. William has lost his ways and his nine pupils make him believe the world is better off without magic. Rat poop, I say! Without magic, how will I survive my weekly excecution?"
"Aunt Beth," the girl pleaded "no one forces you to participate in witch hunts. After all, you are a witch. And honestly, you're scaring the townsfolk. You could easily live a quiet, normal life without excecutions. You are addicted to death."
"At my age you have to be addicted to something to survive. I chose death. Now quit your yabbering and get out of my tent before you step on a scroll." With a clap of her hands, the girl got launched out of the tent, which imploded seconds later with a cracking sound."
Then, with another series of cracking sounds the old witch re-appeared on the ground, surrounded by the Council of Ten. She stared around and then fixed her eyes on the tall man she referred to as William. She spit on the ground and within the blink of an eye she threw a deep purple bolt out of her right hand in his direction.
The black-haired wizard on his right quickly countered the spell with a light blue blast. William didn't move an inch, but smiled widely at the old witch.
"Beëlzebeth. I had not expected anything different from you. A talented witch like yourself finds it hard to let go, no doubt. However, your game will end here and now. You are next to hand in your powers and believe me, it'll be more pleasant for all of us if you hand it to us peacefully." he spoke, his smile still on his face.
Beëlzebeth gave William a nasty look, but he only seemed to enjoy it.
"Very well then. I hope you choke on my magic! May it choke you like cesspit fumes. Your idealistic views will never save the world, because you have donkey brains! You want my magic? Fine. ARRANTHE NEMA NEMA DUUS!"
On the ground lay a swollen up, scurvy dog. I seemed to be filled with cancer and swellings with dark green ooze dripping from its anus. It tried to roll over, but barfed over the dark-haired wizard's shoes.
"All my magic in one sick dog. Throw it in your chest, why don't you? Much good it'll do to you." Beëlzebeth spoke and kicked the dog in its swollen stomach.
The dark-haired wizard grabbed for something in his pocket as the dog barfed over his shoes again. The tall wizard named William restrained him. He waved his hands over the dog, which disappeared without sound.
"Pity." He spoke. "I'd have expected more from the great Beëlzebeth, oldest witch of the world. This magic is rather pitiful, but nonetheless it is good we have it stored. Check her."
Two sorceresses used magic globes around her and the blond one nodded to William. "She is nothing more but a filthy old woman now."
William's smile had not faded all this time.
"Good. We'll be on our way then. We have a world to improve. Oh, and Beth, try not to get yourself killed in the next witch hunt, will you?" he sneered.
Then, with cracking sounds the Council disappeared. Beëlzebeth muttered and swore and scurried off.
"A- Aunt Beth..." the girl stuttered, "Are you completely powerless now?"
"I'm out of magic if that's what you mean, but that doesn't mean I'm powerless. I'm going home to live the rest of my life in my shack. Go home to my sister; she'll be pleased to hear the next time I die, it'll be permanent."
---
This concludes part A of the prologue. There is more to come soon. Don't worry if this strikes you as too serious; the story will get wicked eventually. Heck, it'll even feature the most anti-climactic battles between good and evil ever.
Enjoy the reads,
Wowter
Sorries
My deepest sorries for the lack of content. However, I can assure you the blog is far from dead and will be around many years to come. Currently I am planning on featuring a story on this blog. It will be a series of short chapters. Of course, the readers can alter the course of events by suggesting thingies to me.
That's all I can say for now. There will be more downtime due to my holidays in France, but I'll be sure to give WW a new kick start in September.
Greetings,
Wowter
That's all I can say for now. There will be more downtime due to my holidays in France, but I'll be sure to give WW a new kick start in September.
Greetings,
Wowter
Tuesday 10 July 2007
WouTube: Christian Special
Excuse me for yesterday. I had better things to do than make a blog, in all honesty. Though I will make it up to you tonight by sharing with you inside information about Christianity.
Note on forehand: The next may be offensive to Christians. Please keep in mind that everyone is entitled to an opinion and comical harrassment is to be taken lightly. Yes, holy figures may be made fun off, but don't let it cloud your mind from valid points being made.
---
The Pope has never read the Bible.
And God's plan is ridiculous...
NOTE: WW does in (almost?) no way share the ideas the Godisimaginary site puts forward. Their logic is (mostly?) flawed and mainly based on quotes from the Bible. Using the Bible for this is an easy and somewhat lame way to make a point. Still, enjoy the vids and please do think about religion in a sane way.
Family Guy - The Pope
Family Guy - Jesus and God
Jesus is a jerk. - Some parts from the Bible.
The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it.
Later we learn that the tree is dead.
A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession." Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us." He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
Jesus - I will survive
Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus, Tha Moovy (Part 1 of a 4-parter)
Completely brilliant. I dare you to watch the 40 mins of material.
Yay. Youtube is a great substitute for writing anything yourself. If you watched all of this you have at least partly been enlightened about Christianity and religion in general. More about this later. Perhaps even todays!
Wow!ter
Note on forehand: The next may be offensive to Christians. Please keep in mind that everyone is entitled to an opinion and comical harrassment is to be taken lightly. Yes, holy figures may be made fun off, but don't let it cloud your mind from valid points being made.
---
The Pope has never read the Bible.
And God's plan is ridiculous...
NOTE: WW does in (almost?) no way share the ideas the Godisimaginary site puts forward. Their logic is (mostly?) flawed and mainly based on quotes from the Bible. Using the Bible for this is an easy and somewhat lame way to make a point. Still, enjoy the vids and please do think about religion in a sane way.
Family Guy - The Pope
Family Guy - Jesus and God
Jesus is a jerk. - Some parts from the Bible.
The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it.
Later we learn that the tree is dead.
A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession." Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us." He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
Jesus - I will survive
Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus, Tha Moovy (Part 1 of a 4-parter)
Completely brilliant. I dare you to watch the 40 mins of material.
Yay. Youtube is a great substitute for writing anything yourself. If you watched all of this you have at least partly been enlightened about Christianity and religion in general. More about this later. Perhaps even todays!
Wow!ter
Sunday 8 July 2007
The one-winged angel.
Today I will tell you a beautiful story my grandfater told me once when I was a small kid. I got bullied at school for being gay, which I am not. Boobs rock. Anyway, it taught me a wise lesson...
---
The one-winged angel.
It was a day like any other in heaven. Rainbows all across the sky, birds twittering happily and people and angels cheering in the clouds. Deer drank from the bubble gum rivers and poo was made of chocolate.
This would have been a great day for anyone, but not for Ishmiel, the young angel. He sat in the darkest corner of his room (which was still pretty bright; heaven, eh?) and looked sad. He had tried to fly so often now, but every time he tried he just crashed down on the floor (which was still a soft crash; clouds, you see?). The reason of his problems? He had only one wing...
He peered out of the window at his friends, who flew like birds. He envied them so much. Why was he such an abomination? What had he done wrong? He smashed his fist on the flour and little pieces of cloud flew up. There would be only one who could possibly answer his question. God.
He walked up the Cloudy Stairs to God's palace. The stairs were huge, since angels could fly up anyway, but poor Ishmiel had to walk all of the 5 miles alone.
Finally, he had reached the mighty palace and entered God's throne chamber. There He was, magnificent, muscled and with long white hair. God smiled upon Ishmiel and beckoned him over.
"Come closer, my son. I know why you are here." he spoke calmly.
Ishmiel walked up to the throne, his malformed wing flapping spastically. He felt disgraced and angry, but also comforted by God's calm voice. He looked up and saw that God had reached out his hand for him.
God took Ishmiel on his nap and stroked his hair.
"You smell nice." he said.
Ishmiel looked confused, then asked: "Why am I so malformed, God? Why are the others all so perfect while I have to do with one wing?"
God coughed.
"Ahh, so that... I mean, I knew that was why you're here. Come now, get off my nap and I will show you."
Ishmiel took God's hand and in an instance, they were outside. God slowly walked up to a group of angels.
"Don't worry, Ishmiel. They can't see us now. You don't have to be afraid of them making fun of your silly wing."
Ishmiel watched his friends play, flying about happily, throwing a ball.
"Why couldn't I just be perfect like them, God? Why did you make me different?"
God smiled and pointed at one of the angels.
"Do you see Aerziel? He is happily playing with his friends, but he has a bad liver. He won't stand a good drinking fight."
"And do you see Aesheera? She may seem perfect right now, but in a few years she will realise she is infertile."
"And take a look at Turiel. He seems happy, but in fact he feels miserable because of his malformed penis."
God snapped his fingers and they were back in the palace. He smiled warmly upon Ishmiel.
"So you see, my son. I mess up all the time. You're gonna have to deal with your problems like a real man, because I'm rather busy right now. Here, take this flyer, baseball cap and this bag. I think it even has a nice pen in it. Off you go, now!"
And with a snap God zapped Ishmiel back to his room..
"God? Your boy is here." One of the guards spoke.
"Ahh yes. Come sit on my nap, my son." he spoke warmly.
"You smell nice."
---
After hearing this story, I punched my grandfather, shouting at him I'm not gay and that the story doesn't apply to me. But well, at least I learned a lesson which can be of importance to the rest of you.
Not everyone is perfect. We were created in His image, which means God isn't perfect either. We have to accept who we are.
Cheers,
Wow!ter
Note: Allah is in fact perfect, unlike the corrupted God western dogs believe in. May the pigdogs bow dow before Allah's might!
---
The one-winged angel.
It was a day like any other in heaven. Rainbows all across the sky, birds twittering happily and people and angels cheering in the clouds. Deer drank from the bubble gum rivers and poo was made of chocolate.
This would have been a great day for anyone, but not for Ishmiel, the young angel. He sat in the darkest corner of his room (which was still pretty bright; heaven, eh?) and looked sad. He had tried to fly so often now, but every time he tried he just crashed down on the floor (which was still a soft crash; clouds, you see?). The reason of his problems? He had only one wing...
He peered out of the window at his friends, who flew like birds. He envied them so much. Why was he such an abomination? What had he done wrong? He smashed his fist on the flour and little pieces of cloud flew up. There would be only one who could possibly answer his question. God.
He walked up the Cloudy Stairs to God's palace. The stairs were huge, since angels could fly up anyway, but poor Ishmiel had to walk all of the 5 miles alone.
Finally, he had reached the mighty palace and entered God's throne chamber. There He was, magnificent, muscled and with long white hair. God smiled upon Ishmiel and beckoned him over.
"Come closer, my son. I know why you are here." he spoke calmly.
Ishmiel walked up to the throne, his malformed wing flapping spastically. He felt disgraced and angry, but also comforted by God's calm voice. He looked up and saw that God had reached out his hand for him.
God took Ishmiel on his nap and stroked his hair.
"You smell nice." he said.
Ishmiel looked confused, then asked: "Why am I so malformed, God? Why are the others all so perfect while I have to do with one wing?"
God coughed.
"Ahh, so that... I mean, I knew that was why you're here. Come now, get off my nap and I will show you."
Ishmiel took God's hand and in an instance, they were outside. God slowly walked up to a group of angels.
"Don't worry, Ishmiel. They can't see us now. You don't have to be afraid of them making fun of your silly wing."
Ishmiel watched his friends play, flying about happily, throwing a ball.
"Why couldn't I just be perfect like them, God? Why did you make me different?"
God smiled and pointed at one of the angels.
"Do you see Aerziel? He is happily playing with his friends, but he has a bad liver. He won't stand a good drinking fight."
"And do you see Aesheera? She may seem perfect right now, but in a few years she will realise she is infertile."
"And take a look at Turiel. He seems happy, but in fact he feels miserable because of his malformed penis."
God snapped his fingers and they were back in the palace. He smiled warmly upon Ishmiel.
"So you see, my son. I mess up all the time. You're gonna have to deal with your problems like a real man, because I'm rather busy right now. Here, take this flyer, baseball cap and this bag. I think it even has a nice pen in it. Off you go, now!"
And with a snap God zapped Ishmiel back to his room..
"God? Your boy is here." One of the guards spoke.
"Ahh yes. Come sit on my nap, my son." he spoke warmly.
"You smell nice."
---
After hearing this story, I punched my grandfather, shouting at him I'm not gay and that the story doesn't apply to me. But well, at least I learned a lesson which can be of importance to the rest of you.
Not everyone is perfect. We were created in His image, which means God isn't perfect either. We have to accept who we are.
Cheers,
Wow!ter
Note: Allah is in fact perfect, unlike the corrupted God western dogs believe in. May the pigdogs bow dow before Allah's might!
Emoes - 'People with super-emo powers are among us.'
Wow. I have found me something to do for the next... day. Advised by the whole internet and 80% of the Lost community, I decided to download Heroes yesterday and oh my... me likey! Enjoy this WW review!
---
Heroes.
Ever felt like you were special? Like you were meant to make a difference somehow? Well, you're not. But these guys are! The series is about people who discover they have supernatural abilities, varying from fire conjuring to flying. This is, of course, a completely new and refreshing concept, which shakes the very foundations of the world.
What would you do when you would discover you have super powers somehow? You'd probably go explore them and think of cool ways to use em, right? Yeah, me too. But not these guys! Heck, take the Petrelli brothers. One can fly and the other can use any power he encounters.
Emo, emo, emo. One can even paint the future. Or is it actually the other way around? Perhaps what he draws, will happen in the future! Peter found out about this, though.
At any rate, these Heroes are all superemo. Whine whine whine. Can't you just be happy with your super cool abilities?! Super powers are hot piss, enjoy them! (Oh yeah. One character, Hiro, is super cool. He completely rocks and makes the series worth it.)
So here I was, in my room, watching Heroes, when suddenly... someone down the hall went for a piss. My room is next to the toilet, so it bothers me greatly. It was 5 a.m. for crying out loud! What the hell is wrong with people these days? Going to the toilet at 5 a.m.?! Seriously, go to bed you wankers! I can't even watch Heroes in peace any more!
You could of course ask me what the reason was I was still watching Heroes at 5 a.m., which would be a valid question. I blame the endings. I might just sue those Heroes people for messing with my head! They end each episode with a cliffhanger! That's so Lost-like... and I can't fight it...
"You look pretty."
"So do you."
"Thank you."
"No, thank you!"
"Nice weather, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Indeed."
"Quite."
"Super powers suck, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Thought so."
"I feel emo."
"Me too."
...
"Oh my God, you guys. The world is about to explode in 5 seconds!"
"Oh my freaking GOD!"
To be continued...
Now thát is not fair! I can't resist but watch another episode, and another, and another, and another... until it's 5 a.m. or later. I watched and I watched and I... *yawn* ...watched.
Yay! A movie to break the wall of text!
Slightly light in my head I started to ponder. 'What if I have a super power?' It could be, right? It could actually be! So I tried telekinesis, which didn't work. I tried telepathy, but all I got was static. I tried my regeneration ability, but rly, didn't work either. Until...
I found my super power, guys! I did it. You may not believe me, but you will find out eventually. I believe there are others out there like me and together... we can make a difference! I won't keep you waiting any longer; I shall reveal to you my secret. I can... change the future.
I know it sounds like madness to you, but it's true! I tried it over and over again; it works every time. I can do things that affect tomorrow, next week or even next month! I used the last toilet paper and next day... we were out of toilet paper. I'm seriously, you guys. This is the most awesome power ever.
Feeling kinda emo about it tho.
ARGH! Just to enlighten you:
Super powers are cool, ok? If you have super powers, use them for cool things. Don't be emo about it. Heck, don't be emo in general! Being emo sucks ass! Heroes =/= Emoes, you understand?!
Priceless...
We're all heroes, deep inside (or super villains, of course) and we're all a bit emo. Just take things lightly and play life's game with whatever you've been given. We can all make our own destiny. Make the best of what you have, my followers.
Peace,
Wow!ter
Heroes Season One torrent file
Go watch Heroes. You really want to. You do. You want to watch Heroes. Go watch it. Or I will unleash my powers on you!
---
Ever felt like you were special? Like you were meant to make a difference somehow? Well, you're not. But these guys are! The series is about people who discover they have supernatural abilities, varying from fire conjuring to flying. This is, of course, a completely new and refreshing concept, which shakes the very foundations of the world.
What would you do when you would discover you have super powers somehow? You'd probably go explore them and think of cool ways to use em, right? Yeah, me too. But not these guys! Heck, take the Petrelli brothers. One can fly and the other can use any power he encounters.
Emo, emo, emo. One can even paint the future. Or is it actually the other way around? Perhaps what he draws, will happen in the future! Peter found out about this, though.
At any rate, these Heroes are all superemo. Whine whine whine. Can't you just be happy with your super cool abilities?! Super powers are hot piss, enjoy them! (Oh yeah. One character, Hiro, is super cool. He completely rocks and makes the series worth it.)
So here I was, in my room, watching Heroes, when suddenly... someone down the hall went for a piss. My room is next to the toilet, so it bothers me greatly. It was 5 a.m. for crying out loud! What the hell is wrong with people these days? Going to the toilet at 5 a.m.?! Seriously, go to bed you wankers! I can't even watch Heroes in peace any more!
You could of course ask me what the reason was I was still watching Heroes at 5 a.m., which would be a valid question. I blame the endings. I might just sue those Heroes people for messing with my head! They end each episode with a cliffhanger! That's so Lost-like... and I can't fight it...
"You look pretty."
"So do you."
"Thank you."
"No, thank you!"
"Nice weather, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Indeed."
"Quite."
"Super powers suck, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Thought so."
"I feel emo."
"Me too."
...
"Oh my God, you guys. The world is about to explode in 5 seconds!"
"Oh my freaking GOD!"
To be continued...
Now thát is not fair! I can't resist but watch another episode, and another, and another, and another... until it's 5 a.m. or later. I watched and I watched and I... *yawn* ...watched.
Yay! A movie to break the wall of text!
Slightly light in my head I started to ponder. 'What if I have a super power?' It could be, right? It could actually be! So I tried telekinesis, which didn't work. I tried telepathy, but all I got was static. I tried my regeneration ability, but rly, didn't work either. Until...
I found my super power, guys! I did it. You may not believe me, but you will find out eventually. I believe there are others out there like me and together... we can make a difference! I won't keep you waiting any longer; I shall reveal to you my secret. I can... change the future.
I know it sounds like madness to you, but it's true! I tried it over and over again; it works every time. I can do things that affect tomorrow, next week or even next month! I used the last toilet paper and next day... we were out of toilet paper. I'm seriously, you guys. This is the most awesome power ever.
Feeling kinda emo about it tho.
ARGH! Just to enlighten you:
Super powers are cool, ok? If you have super powers, use them for cool things. Don't be emo about it. Heck, don't be emo in general! Being emo sucks ass! Heroes =/= Emoes, you understand?!
Priceless...
We're all heroes, deep inside (or super villains, of course) and we're all a bit emo. Just take things lightly and play life's game with whatever you've been given. We can all make our own destiny. Make the best of what you have, my followers.
Peace,
Wow!ter
Heroes Season One torrent file
Go watch Heroes. You really want to. You do. You want to watch Heroes. Go watch it. Or I will unleash my powers on you!
Thursday 5 July 2007
Hormones and memory erasers.
Oh my, I might just be better tomorrow! Though that may be good news, I'm afraid I might have a new problem now. Been watching television as a way to pass the time, and they only seem to broadcast women stuff! And... and I fear that I might just have started producing female hormones!
Just watched Made in America, starring Whoopi Goldberg, and I couldn't fight the romantic feelings! I'm a man, damn it! I probably shouldn't even have watched it! Soon the hormones will change me forever. I think my nipples are getting sensative...
Cough. Anyway. Apart from that I've been spending too much time in bed again, doing nothing but hoping I'll be able to bore the virus to death (how ironic, since viruses don't even live), without boring myself to death first.
Yikes, here I am blabbering like a breezer girl while YOU want something entertaining to read! Well then, let me tell you something with my regained strength...
---
I've not been the same since it happened. My life changed that day. I can never be sure of anything again. My entire life could just be... nothing more but a lie. I have to ask questions. I have to find the truth. My identity depends on it! It all began... about 3 weeks ago.
- Anything you read from this point on, may very well be a lie. -
It was a warm sunday afternoon and I was more than regularly bored, so I decided to go to my secret laboratory. I created a new party drug, worked a bit on my cure for aids, which couldn't rly motivate me and eventually I ended up looking for ways to disprove gravity.
Bored as I was, I thought it'd be time for a practical joke. In 20 minutes I had created a silly looking device and took it back to my room. I called my friend Steven, the psychotic murderer, and told him to come over to check out my newest creation. He came over when I promised him free cookies and grape juice.
This is what Steven would look like if he was a cat.
When he finally arrived (and began eating all my cookies) I walked up to him and showed him my strange device.
"Steven, I will now cure you. BEHOLD!" I cheered at him.
"Say whut?" he said, his mouth full of cookies.
"With my memory eraser I have erased those nasty memories about the experiments those aliens performed on you."
"What aliens?" he asked.
"See? It worked! You are now free to continue your life, my friend." I said triumphantly.
Steven looked quite confused for a while, then stepped forward and grabbed the device out of my hands. He used the controls for a bit and then pointed it at me.
"Ahaa!" he cried out. "Now I have altered YOUR memory so that you have forgotten about the aliens as well and that you think that this memory eraser is fake, just to fool me!"
"But... Steven..." I mumbled. "It IS fake... I was just playing a joke on you."
"Yes." he said. "Or were you?"
Then, as the pyromaniac he is, he set the device aflame in my kitchen.
...
From that day forth I have been searching for evidence of alien activity like a madman. I mean, who knows if it was a joke or not? I will forever live in fear of aliens. Forever.
---
And so you see, kids. Science can be a dangerous thing! Before you try something like this at home, count to 2^64, kk?
Wouter's World advises you never to mess with your memory. It is far too complicated and dangerous! Unless of course you're implementing memories of hot sex. That's just awesome.
Just watched Made in America, starring Whoopi Goldberg, and I couldn't fight the romantic feelings! I'm a man, damn it! I probably shouldn't even have watched it! Soon the hormones will change me forever. I think my nipples are getting sensative...
Cough. Anyway. Apart from that I've been spending too much time in bed again, doing nothing but hoping I'll be able to bore the virus to death (how ironic, since viruses don't even live), without boring myself to death first.
Yikes, here I am blabbering like a breezer girl while YOU want something entertaining to read! Well then, let me tell you something with my regained strength...
---
I've not been the same since it happened. My life changed that day. I can never be sure of anything again. My entire life could just be... nothing more but a lie. I have to ask questions. I have to find the truth. My identity depends on it! It all began... about 3 weeks ago.
- Anything you read from this point on, may very well be a lie. -
It was a warm sunday afternoon and I was more than regularly bored, so I decided to go to my secret laboratory. I created a new party drug, worked a bit on my cure for aids, which couldn't rly motivate me and eventually I ended up looking for ways to disprove gravity.
Bored as I was, I thought it'd be time for a practical joke. In 20 minutes I had created a silly looking device and took it back to my room. I called my friend Steven, the psychotic murderer, and told him to come over to check out my newest creation. He came over when I promised him free cookies and grape juice.
When he finally arrived (and began eating all my cookies) I walked up to him and showed him my strange device.
"Steven, I will now cure you. BEHOLD!" I cheered at him.
"Say whut?" he said, his mouth full of cookies.
"With my memory eraser I have erased those nasty memories about the experiments those aliens performed on you."
"What aliens?" he asked.
"See? It worked! You are now free to continue your life, my friend." I said triumphantly.
Steven looked quite confused for a while, then stepped forward and grabbed the device out of my hands. He used the controls for a bit and then pointed it at me.
"Ahaa!" he cried out. "Now I have altered YOUR memory so that you have forgotten about the aliens as well and that you think that this memory eraser is fake, just to fool me!"
"But... Steven..." I mumbled. "It IS fake... I was just playing a joke on you."
"Yes." he said. "Or were you?"
Then, as the pyromaniac he is, he set the device aflame in my kitchen.
...
From that day forth I have been searching for evidence of alien activity like a madman. I mean, who knows if it was a joke or not? I will forever live in fear of aliens. Forever.
---
And so you see, kids. Science can be a dangerous thing! Before you try something like this at home, count to 2^64, kk?
Wouter's World advises you never to mess with your memory. It is far too complicated and dangerous! Unless of course you're implementing memories of hot sex. That's just awesome.
Still ill lol
Yes, what a brilliant title, eh? And yes, I still feel sick. Sinusitus, if you're interested in a fancy medical term. So I have been sleeping all day. Getting better is so *yawn* hard...
Anyway, luckily someone sent me this amazing link, which reminded me of the biological fact that being happy accelerates the healing process! Laughing is the easiest way to feel good. So... enjoy this baby!
Ohhh :')
Brilliant!
Now enjoy this one; you might recognise some sounds on the background!
Ahhh, gotta love it when your muscles start to hurt! Laughing rocks!
And errrr, for all the dutchies:
Kud - De jeugd van tegenwoordig
Now, while I'm here hoping to get better (physically; given up on my mental illness long ago), you guys go out there and enjoy the summer! Enjoy it, my children! Be free! Free!
Diseases suck.
Wow!ter
Anyway, luckily someone sent me this amazing link, which reminded me of the biological fact that being happy accelerates the healing process! Laughing is the easiest way to feel good. So... enjoy this baby!
Ohhh :')
Brilliant!
Now enjoy this one; you might recognise some sounds on the background!
Ahhh, gotta love it when your muscles start to hurt! Laughing rocks!
And errrr, for all the dutchies:
Kud - De jeugd van tegenwoordig
Now, while I'm here hoping to get better (physically; given up on my mental illness long ago), you guys go out there and enjoy the summer! Enjoy it, my children! Be free! Free!
Diseases suck.
Wow!ter
Wednesday 4 July 2007
Cloned!
I did it! I did it! After hours and hours of noobing around I have finally created a virtual clone of my cell phone! (And yes, that rimes!)
Now I have the power to clone anything! ANYTHING!
*cackles maniacally and falls asleep*
Due to me being ill atm, I was unable to write something bloggy. Hope to be better soon, so I can continue to enlighten more misguided souls. Cheers!
Now I have the power to clone anything! ANYTHING!
*cackles maniacally and falls asleep*
Due to me being ill atm, I was unable to write something bloggy. Hope to be better soon, so I can continue to enlighten more misguided souls. Cheers!
Tuesday 3 July 2007
Lack of blogginess in my brains...
I am dearly trying to understand Adobe After Effects 7.0. I can assure you it's a brilliant piece of software! It can really edit videos in ways I could never have dreamt! Unfortunately, I am a complete noob and can still only dream, watching tutorials.
Tonight I will try my best on a cloning effect. I might even upload it to the internet if it turns out ok, so you guys have something to watch. As for tonight, no blog. Hopefully something tomorrow!
In the meanwhile, enjoy this; it's brilliant!
Voldemort pwns!
Good night!
Wow!ter
Note: I blame women for my lack of blogginess! Dear God, my brains need blood!
Tonight I will try my best on a cloning effect. I might even upload it to the internet if it turns out ok, so you guys have something to watch. As for tonight, no blog. Hopefully something tomorrow!
In the meanwhile, enjoy this; it's brilliant!
Voldemort pwns!
Good night!
Wow!ter
Note: I blame women for my lack of blogginess! Dear God, my brains need blood!
Sunday 1 July 2007
NeWWs Flash!
Welcome to the first edition of Wouter's World NeWW's Flash!
In this edition:
* Russia tests the Baluva. Sounds like a yummy cake. Is a deadly weapon.
* Survival of the fattest. Good news if you like big bottoms!
* David Hasselhoff accused of being gay!
Enjoy and be enlightened!
---
Hide! The Russians are angry! In response to America's plans to install a missile defense shield in Europe, Russia has speeded up their tests with the Baluva, a fearsome new nuclear missile that should be a key element of their modern arsenal.
"The Bulava is designed to have a range of 10,000km (6,200 miles) and carry six individually targeted nuclear warhead"s."
This thing can reach 50% of the world. If they install several in Russia, they can effectively pose a threat to 80% of the populated world. Pretty much the only safe places would be North Australia, North Africa and North America, which is the safest place of all (when we're talking about Russian missiles, ofc).
Source: Google Earth
"Russian President Vladimir Putin has described the missile as a key component of Moscow's future nuclear forces, saying it can penetrate any prospective missile defence system."
Did anyone say the cold war is over? Cough, cough, not, cough, cough. See how Putin calls it Moscow's 'future nuclear forces'? The man is smart enough not to refer to it as 'future nuclear defenses', because he wants to scare the dumb Americans shitless... and he will. (NOTE: Putin did not mention that the missile was made of cartboard and piloted by a chimpansee)
Problem is, Russia wants to taunt America and America gives Russia what it wants by responding like an angry ape. Now it's time to speculate. America has made a fool of itself in the Middle East. This can lead to either of two things:
1) Bush thinks it better not to lead any more wars, since the Americans suck at it.
2) Bush will try to save America's reputation by looking for a new war that will be handled with more care.
Number 2 seems most likely to me, but that mainly depends on America's next president. Which pea brain will they elect next time?
All in all America sucks at making friends and Russia doesn't want any friends. I frown upon their silly testosteron-induced behaviour and hide in Europe, where the grass is greener, the food is better, but the women are smarter.
Quotes from BBC News.
---
People are getting fatter. Rapidly! In The Netherlands 40% is too fat. Several years ago this was 30%. Are us Dutchies heading for the same weight as the Americans? Hopefully not, because in Amerika 65% is too fat! Sixty five procent! Can you fucking believe it? Of all the Americans 24.5% is obese even!
Oh. My. God. Now these girls are obese, ok?
There have been many studies looking for an explanation. It has been difficult, for many possible solutions had been found.
Genes! They make us fat! It's all DNA's fault! We cannot resist it...
Fear! Scared people eat more! Damn those muslim terrorists for making us fat!
Fat Gnomes! They inject us with fat when we're asleep.
Unfortunately, they appeared to be far from the truth. (The Fat Gnomes were actually harmless Underpants Gnomes, injecting people with sedatives to make their job of stealing underpants a bit easier.)
Food. Lots of it. Eat a lot, get fat. Eat some more, get obese. It's simple.
Nice Orly Owls!
Being fat is not good and only a few people (less than 1%) have a disorder that unables them to have a normal weight. Yes, food is nice. Yes, we can eat a lot. Yes, we won't die immediately from it. But...
Fat people are ugly.
Fat people are less healthy.
Fat people eat too much; simple.
Now then. Some people have asked me what to do about it. Do you really want me to answer? I guess you do. EAT LESS! YA RLY! Eat less, move more. Take the bike to work, eat an apple when you are hungry, don't eat too much fried food, have more sex (with sex I do not mean 2 minute sessions, mm'kay?).
Or, the modern alternative solution:
Uncle Sam says: "Having weapons comes with a responsibility!"
---
David Hasselhoff has been accused of being gay after pictures of him had been posted on an anonymous blog. The Hoff had one thing to say in return.
---
This was NeWWs Flash! I hope you have all been enlightened. Tune in next time for more news! Same blog, some other day.
Disclaimer: Wouter's World does not claim fat people are dumber. We only claim dumb people are fatter.
In this edition:
* Russia tests the Baluva. Sounds like a yummy cake. Is a deadly weapon.
* Survival of the fattest. Good news if you like big bottoms!
* David Hasselhoff accused of being gay!
Enjoy and be enlightened!
---
Hide! The Russians are angry! In response to America's plans to install a missile defense shield in Europe, Russia has speeded up their tests with the Baluva, a fearsome new nuclear missile that should be a key element of their modern arsenal.
"The Bulava is designed to have a range of 10,000km (6,200 miles) and carry six individually targeted nuclear warhead"s."
This thing can reach 50% of the world. If they install several in Russia, they can effectively pose a threat to 80% of the populated world. Pretty much the only safe places would be North Australia, North Africa and North America, which is the safest place of all (when we're talking about Russian missiles, ofc).
Source: Google Earth
"Russian President Vladimir Putin has described the missile as a key component of Moscow's future nuclear forces, saying it can penetrate any prospective missile defence system."
Did anyone say the cold war is over? Cough, cough, not, cough, cough. See how Putin calls it Moscow's 'future nuclear forces'? The man is smart enough not to refer to it as 'future nuclear defenses', because he wants to scare the dumb Americans shitless... and he will. (NOTE: Putin did not mention that the missile was made of cartboard and piloted by a chimpansee)
Problem is, Russia wants to taunt America and America gives Russia what it wants by responding like an angry ape. Now it's time to speculate. America has made a fool of itself in the Middle East. This can lead to either of two things:
1) Bush thinks it better not to lead any more wars, since the Americans suck at it.
2) Bush will try to save America's reputation by looking for a new war that will be handled with more care.
Number 2 seems most likely to me, but that mainly depends on America's next president. Which pea brain will they elect next time?
All in all America sucks at making friends and Russia doesn't want any friends. I frown upon their silly testosteron-induced behaviour and hide in Europe, where the grass is greener, the food is better, but the women are smarter.
Quotes from BBC News.
---
People are getting fatter. Rapidly! In The Netherlands 40% is too fat. Several years ago this was 30%. Are us Dutchies heading for the same weight as the Americans? Hopefully not, because in Amerika 65% is too fat! Sixty five procent! Can you fucking believe it? Of all the Americans 24.5% is obese even!
Oh. My. God. Now these girls are obese, ok?
There have been many studies looking for an explanation. It has been difficult, for many possible solutions had been found.
Genes! They make us fat! It's all DNA's fault! We cannot resist it...
Fear! Scared people eat more! Damn those muslim terrorists for making us fat!
Fat Gnomes! They inject us with fat when we're asleep.
Unfortunately, they appeared to be far from the truth. (The Fat Gnomes were actually harmless Underpants Gnomes, injecting people with sedatives to make their job of stealing underpants a bit easier.)
Food. Lots of it. Eat a lot, get fat. Eat some more, get obese. It's simple.
Nice Orly Owls!
Being fat is not good and only a few people (less than 1%) have a disorder that unables them to have a normal weight. Yes, food is nice. Yes, we can eat a lot. Yes, we won't die immediately from it. But...
Fat people are ugly.
Fat people are less healthy.
Fat people eat too much; simple.
Now then. Some people have asked me what to do about it. Do you really want me to answer? I guess you do. EAT LESS! YA RLY! Eat less, move more. Take the bike to work, eat an apple when you are hungry, don't eat too much fried food, have more sex (with sex I do not mean 2 minute sessions, mm'kay?).
Or, the modern alternative solution:
Uncle Sam says: "Having weapons comes with a responsibility!"
---
David Hasselhoff has been accused of being gay after pictures of him had been posted on an anonymous blog. The Hoff had one thing to say in return.
---
This was NeWWs Flash! I hope you have all been enlightened. Tune in next time for more news! Same blog, some other day.
Disclaimer: Wouter's World does not claim fat people are dumber. We only claim dumb people are fatter.
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