Wouter's World

"I can't take any more! You're too big for me!" I yelled in pain, fearing my ass wouldn't hold.

"Don't whine, bitch! It's been days since the last time! You want it!"

"I do, I do!" I cried and enjoyed the kinky sensation that was a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Oh my God!"

"YES! YES! I am coming!" he yelled.

*SPLATCH*

---

Anyway, enough about my toilet sessions. Today I wanted to discu... what? You think I'm crazy? How come people keep saying that? In the last 3 days, about 25 different people have called me insane, mad, deranged or something in that general direction! It's not like I can help it... it's genetic!

You see... as a child I was quite autistic, with terrible results varying from trees running into me to imaginary nightmares at night. My parents did everything they could to help me, including the clown technique.



SMBC Comics rule!

Unfortunately the famous clown psychology turned out to have negative effects on me. I started to alienate from the real world and made myself at home in my own fantasy world. I had imaginary friends, some of whom had imaginary friends of themselves. They were crazy, I tell you! I didn't know the difference between the real world and Wouter's World anymore...

My grades at school were terrible and my teachers thought I was pretty stupid. This lasted until I was confronted with my bad results by my parents and teachers. They told me to do my best more, to stay focused. Needless to say this didn't help at all. By accident my parents found the solution weeks later.

"Wouter, school is a game and you need to win."

Madness twinkled in my eyes. 'A game... need to win...'

Now that school was suddenly interesting, I topped scores ever since. However, at university I lost my interest for learning and returned to my own world, which was a lot more entertaining than this piece of crap. I dropped out of school, got depressed, crazy and near suicidal!

Weeks went by that I didn't leave my room. Clinging to World of Warcraft and my own imagination, there was little stimulus to do anything else. I was perfectly happy with this, but my friends and family had gotten worried, very worried. Rightly so, I suppose, but I was greatly annoyed by this. I couldn't knowingly lead this absurd life if it caused my loved ones to feel worried about me.

Still, months went by and salvation was never at hand. Until one night, one blessed night. I slept in what was once my bed, but where now nothing but sweaty, stinky piles of cloth remained. I looked around the room and realised it was actually night; I didn't often sleep at night with my lack of regulation.

I cackled insanely and mumbled death threats at my pillow, while humming Ren & Stimpy songs. My mind was full of problems... 'I should quit WoW, it's destroying my life.', 'I need to get a job.', 'People think I'm crazy. Dude... I am crazy!'

I felt myself going insane and rolled out of my bed, enjoying the sensation of the filthy cold floor to my half-naked body. Completely deranged, I climbed to my feet again and walked to the mirror over my sink. I switched on the light to look at myself, the crazy nutter I was.

In the mirror, to my surprise, was not my own face. It was the face of an old, magnificent man with a long, grey beard. He smiled at me calmly. I returned the smile.

"Why am I crazy, God? Why did you make me the madman I am? I can't think normally. I... I can't bring order to my own mind! I can't fight it anymore! Chaos consumes me!"

He smiled calmly and shook his head.

"No, son. You just don't realise your power yet. You are one. You are an individual. Your thoughts are your own and no one can truly judge them. You can choose to accept anything in the world: pain, chaos, fate. None of these words matter more than you make them matter. You are in control. You decide what's right or wrong. You decide what you want to do."

I stared at him in amazement, but not for long. I blacked out and woke up on the floor the next morning. A huge lump on the back of my head ached; a souvenir to my conversation with God himself. The bastard had used my temporary absent-mindedness to have an angel hit me in the head with an angelic hammer.

I stumbled to the window and blinkingly stared into the sun. Suddenly it all made sense... It was that day that I found the solution. All my life I had been looking for a cure, but instead it turned out I wasn't sick in the first place! I am just me! Crazy! This IS Wouter's World! It's not imaginary at all! Well, maybe the evil green chickens and monkey knights were... No! Not even them! Your fantasy is as real as anything else in this world!

CRAZY!


That's me. Nerdy!

Enlightenment feels great, my friends. Once you've felt it, you are one. I can not truly describe it, but it's complete freedom. There's just one thing you all have to realise.

You are who you are.
You can make your own decisions.
Do what feels right, what feels good.

Be true to yourself!

---

Yes, I may be a maniacal lunatic, but that's my life's choice and I thrive by it. Who are you, dear reader? Are there parts of yourself you hide from the world? Open up and show people who you are! Show them you are happy with yourself and they will accept you the way you are. Trust me.

Cheers,
Wowter

P.S. God is just a metaphor for Allah. Praise Allah, my muslim friends! Let us all not suicide bomb Wouter, eh?