'Gnomatter the matter, I will find the truth!' - Wouter Lockefeer, 2007

I've been doing research for years now. Two weeks ago, I completed the underground connection to my laboratory. My laboratory is situated in the north of Holland, while I currently live in the east. Thanks to this underground rail rocket I have now been able to spend some more time on my science projects. Tonight I will reveal to you the secret... of matter!

Matter.



Matter. You have all heard about it, but what is it? I'll assume you went to school and payed at least some attention during physics and chemistry classes. This should have taught you that matter consists of molecules. Each substance on earth consists of its unique molecules. Molecules consist of atoms. You may remember this baby:



IMPORTANT NOTICE: DO NOT ADD THESE ELEMENTS TOGETHER, OR THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT MIGHT SEIZE TO EXIST: Beryllium, Oxygen, Phosphorus, Sulfur, Vanadium and Molybdenum.

Now, atoms consist of protons, neutrons and electrons flying around em:



The nucleus consists of protons and neutrons. The electrons fly in an orbit around the nucleus.
Protons then can be split into quarks and gluons, but you probably never came this far... which is good! For I have made a discovery.

Ernest Rutherford, formerly thought of as a brilliant scientist, deceived us. He was actually the leader of an organisation called the CHM(WD)*. This organisation used science to make us believe the world consisted of complex particles, to destroy religions. They managed to harm our religions (even the only right one, the Islam) by confusing people. Until today...
*) Christianity Hates Masturbation (We Don't)

After months of intense research, I have finally constructed my Sensy-Ray 2007, a microscope that uses the quantum mechanics of electrons flying at nearly the speed of light to 'scan' objects on the smallest scale imaginable. And what I witnessed, shocked the very foundations of what I had believed all my life. Matter consists of nothing else than...


GNOMES!

Indeed. Tiny buggers with red hats! I couldn't believ what I saw, so I kept scanning more and more and more... just to find the same results over and over. On every single level of existance, gnomes provide the scientific answer. I zoomed in on sperms, which appear to actually be gnomes in diving suits. I was abashed!

I decided to see where else the CHM(WD) had spread their filthy lies! I studied everything I could find. Cars seem to work with gnomes running around in the tires to create the propulsion. A little needle is placed behind them, to make sure that slacking gnomes will keep running. I opened a lamp, to find a gnome keeping a torch aflame all the time. I couldn't believe it!

This is the stunning conclusion of WW science experiment. Do not believe what scientists try to make you believe, for it is all a big fat lie to keep you from believing in Allah. Allah be praised!

I'd like to end with this piece of proof:


NOTE: Allah himself is not a gnome. He does however consist out of gnomes, of course. Allah be praised!